Can You Walk? Then, "Let's Go!"

Several weeks ago I was inspired to make another blog post titled, "Can You Walk?" I'm finally getting a chance to write the blog entry, but the context from which I write has changed considerably since I first thought about the post.

Originally, I was going to write something along the lines of the following: Can you walk? Then you can lose weight and get fit, if that's what your goal is. I estimate that at least 1/2 the weight I lost came from simply walking. Walking with intensity, of course....we're not talking strolling, here. I've logged a lot of miles walking--both outside as well as on the treadmill. I fill my ipod playlists with fast-beat dance tunes to inspire my pace, energy and mood, and hit the pavement or the treadmill. Did you know that you can burn as many, if not more, calories while walking on the treadmill if you jack up the incline vs. jogging/running on a flat surface? It's all about the intensity, and there are different ways to challenge your body--it doesn't have to be about speed. In particular I love the FreeMotion Incline Trainer Treadmills that provide an incline that goes up to 30%. It's like you're hiking up a mountain! I usually vary the incline and speed throughout the duration of my workout...this both keeps my workout interesting and also challenges my body a little more by changing things up a little.

So, my original post was simply going to be about sharing my insights on the often under-rated power of walking. But, as it turns out, after having been sick for much of the last couple months, my own fitness level has diminished and I am back to mostly just walking as my fitness routine. A bad bout of bronchitis unearthed some old asthma issues, and it has taken me several weeks to recover. I'm still not fully back to 100% with my breathing issues, which means I need to be cautious as I try to start working on getting back to my regular fitness routine. This past Friday I finally made my way back to the gym, and went straight for the FreeMotion Treadmill. I couldn't work out as hard as I would have liked, because I had to be cautious with my breathing. (One of the reasons I ended up being sick so long was because I pushed myself too hard in basketball before I was fully well, and it did more damage to my bronchial infection....so I am trying to do EVERYTHING I can to avoid doing this again!) But, I needed to do something to get moving again....and knew that even just getting back to the gym and going through the motions was going to make me feel better, even if I couldn't do as much as I'd have LIKED to do. And, I knew that even if I am just walking....the longer I walk, the more calories I'd burn; plus, the less intense the workout, the more stamina you're going to have to extend the length of the workout.

The good news is, even with my workout limitations, I still was able to burn over 500 calories in under 50 minutes, simply by walking at a moderate pace! This is why I love this machine! At the end of December, I wrote down some of my stats on two different occasions when I used the same machine. I'm doubly glad I did so, now, as it gave me benchmarks with which to compare my most recent workout. Rather than disappoint me in seeing the lower numbers now...it actually inspires me to compare the numbers and know that as long as I keep walking I will soon be pushing out those higher numbers again in no time.

The first time I used the machine, I actually burned 1000 calories in just over an hour! This is partially because of some of the games I play with myself during my workouts: as I watch the numbers go higher (wow, I've burned over 800 calories!), I push myself just a little more (holy crap...all that in less than an hour....in no time at all I will be at 1000! And then I can SAY I burned 1000 calories...and that sounds INCREDULOUS!!!). Here's my comparison data:

December 27, 2010
3.5 miles
2700 ft vertical distance
68 minutes
1000 calories

December 29, 2010
2.72 miles
2074 ft vertical distance
53 minutes
765 calories

March 18, 2011
2 miles
1317 ft vertical distance
49 minutes
518 calories

Besides my normal workouts, I also often walk 1-2 miles at lunchtime, so that's another activity that fell by the wayside as I've been trying to get well. So, in many respects I've taken several steps back in my conditioning level from being forced to become quite sedentary over the last couple of months. I'm sharing this now as a way of highlighting how there are always going to be setbacks of some sort that arise--whether it's an injury, an illness, life circumstances, emotional issues, or whatnot--and we will have to find ways to meander through or around or under or over the setbacks. I felt incredibly discouraged a few weeks ago as I spent way too many hours lying in bed when I wanted to wave a magic wand so I could get back to "my life" again; but, it's ALL a part of life, even the parts that feel like loss. I used the "down time" to think about my fitness journey in a broader perspective and I made some important new connections and revelations for myself. I also used the time to return a little more focus to my eating and cooking habits....since I wasn't able to work out and focus on the fitness (calories out) portion of the equation, I thought it would be a great opportunity to regain some of my focus on healthy eating (calories in). Prior to this my life had gotten so busy that it was hard to give everything the proper attention it needs, which meant that I was doing poorly at meal planning because I often didn't plan ahead.

So, in reality, sometimes it takes the experience of "loss" to remind us of our priorities. And though at times life is a struggle, sometimes going through these experiences ultimately lifts us to yet a new level on our journey. It's all important...we just need to take things one step at a time and eventually we'll get to where we're going. Even if we're just walking!

Happy New Year--It's Your Shot!

Welcome to 2011! I thought it would be appropriate to make another post during this time in which many people are making resolutions for the year ahead. Are you a resolution-maker? I don't typically get wrapped up in the tradition of setting specific New Year's resolutions. Although I will confess, this year as 2010 was drawing to a close, I did begin to recognize a spunky little voice inside me trying to catch my attention and encourage me to consider a rather particular resolution: "More kissing in 2011!" I definitely think kissing is important for one's overall physical, emotional and psychological health! ;)

Regardless of whether you are traditionally a resolution-maker or not, the beginning of a new year still provides a great opportunity to pause and reflect on your life in a more focused way. Where have you been? Where are you going? Where are you now? What changes are you looking to make in your life? What new adventures lie ahead?

For many the new year also serves as a natural jump start to focusing on new (or old!) fitness goals. This has been true for me....although I actually began a week ahead of schedule. For some time I had been needing some sort of refreshed new or renewed goal for my fitness routine and overall health journey. I was waiting for some sort of inspiration to rise to the surface as I simply let my thoughts simmer on the back burner for a while. Finally, in the last week of December I knew what I wanted to do. I had been longing to get back in a real, physical gym. I gave up my previous gym membership last spring and had been relying on other means of working out to continue in my fitness adventures; but, my options became much more limited as the shorter days and more inclement weather of winter set in. So, the week before New Year's I marched up to the brand new 24 Hour Fitness gym that opened up a few miles from my house and promptly joined. It brought me such joy that it became like a new love affair as I couldn't wait to get back and visit the gym every day that week. I loved the new facilities, the new equipment, the new options and variety--being able to use the cardio equipment, the weight machines, the free weights, and join in the group classes....and, of course, reward myself afterward with a soak in the whirlpool.

Of course, as the New Year dawned, I finally managed to get sick and had to take a break from the gym. But, I am finally on the mend and plan to return later this week. For now my new fitness goal--borrowed from Bob Harper--is simply to "burn mad calories." I attribute my overall success in my fitness journey to at least two things: keeping it simple, and keeping it broad. The "simple" part for me is that losing weight (or gaining or maintaining) ultimately, as I've mentioned before, comes down to a simple mathematical equation: Calories In vs. Calories Out. Generally speaking, if you burn more calories each day than you are taking in, you will gradually lose weight. (Keep in mind there is also a minimum number of calories you must eat in order to help keep your metabolism balanced....so you can't simply starve yourself in an effort to increase your calories in vs. calories out ratio.) The "broad" part for me is what makes my "fitness plan" sustainable: my fitness journey became a real lifestyle change because my plan of action mostly centered around simply living a more active life. My new current focus on "burning mad calories" continues in this thread. I enjoy being able to incorporate variety into my workouts and I don't really have the time these days to plan out a detailed workout regimen. By simply focusing on "burning mad calories" I am free to pack my gym bag, throw on my tunes, and head to the gym. When I get there I can do whatever I want....run, bike, hike, dance, kickbox, row, lift weights, swim, play basketball, or any other variety of activities available to me at the time. There are no rules but to keep moving! And keep sweating!

There's a quote on the wall inside the basketball court area of my gym that says: "It's not over until you've WON!" And nearby on the next wall: "It's your SHOT!" Every day that you show up....you are winning! The journey continues every day...each day a new chance to prove what you are capable of. This is your shot. Take it! Savor every moment. Because winning feels divine! Maybe you don't feel yet like you are winning? Keep showing up and continuing with the baby steps--you are making your way. Remember, it's not over until you've won, so there is no reason to give up now. It's your shot! And remember: keep it simple.

Love Yourself. Love Your Life. Watch What Happens.

Yesterday I posted the following entry on my other more general blog, but it clearly relates to the "Finding Life in Loss" theme, so I wanted to re-post it here as well. It highlights how interconnected I feel my fitness journey has been with all other aspects of my life, and how I am regaining my freedom to truly live life to its fullest. Feels pretty amazing! And it's a journey anyone can make, just starting one day at a time...

..............
From 12/13/2010:

I think I'm molting.

Sometimes when I exercise and really push myself to my limits during my workout, I arrive at a state afterward in which I am completely spent...thoroughly exhausted from the inside out. The endorphins have worked their magic and a deep, serious calm flows uninhibited through my entire bloodstream--my insides having been completely hollowed out by all the stress toxins being expelled from my body. In this state I could sleep like a baby.

Sometimes there are moments during my workouts--if I have been working out with a serious intensity, really pushing myself to my limits--in which I also reach an emotional break as I find myself suddenly choking on tears that have suddenly shot to the surface. As I reflect on these cathartic moments, I can't help but wonder how much of our emotional "baggage" is in fact simply being carried around in our bodies in metabolic form. Perhaps in my workouts I'm not only expelling stress hormones but grief hormones, broken-hearted hormones, disappointment hormones, loss hormones, anger hormones, depressed hormonones... It's no wonder some of these emotional ailments can dramatically affect our physical health if they are just floating around inside of us, trying to find a fertile space in which they can anchor themselves and start multiplying like cancer cells.

This past weekend I worked out hard. I danced like a fiend until 2:00am...and then turned around and played nearly 40 minutes of full court basketball the next day. I was completely spent, but it felt good to use up everything I had--as if I was the kind of rechargeable battery where it's best to completely drain the battery before recharging. It felt good to completely empty myself. This was something I was definitely needing.

On Sunday afternoon I was not of much use to anyone--but ultimately, this was good for me. I was thoroughly exhausted, and this caused me to slow down and finally get some much needed down time. In addition to feeling the complete expulsion of stress from my body, I became conscious of something else being lifted out of me. The signs of this came as uncontrollable tears spilling from my heart. But there was no accompanying sadness to the tears, just an awareness of something too simply profound to be able to define. It was something gently becoming detached from deep inside me and floating up, up, up....out into the atmosphere surrounding me. That's when I noticed: I think I'm molting! My outer skin is gently falling away as that bright, fresh, new skin that has been ever-so-steadily growing and forming just below the surface is now getting ready to be revealed. Some sort of transformation is taking place. A quiet, simple transformation; still, it's the unfolding of another scientific miracle. I am both excited and curious to see what this new skin will look like. In many ways I'm sure I will still look the same, but so much of life is hidden in the details. What unique new embellishments will stand out in this new layer of skin that weren't as noticeable or perhaps even present before? I can't wait to find out.

Love yourself. Love your life. And then pay attention: amazing things will happen.

A Deeper Look at the "Spark"

After my last post, I had the opportunity to discuss the "spark" concept more thoroughly with a friend. I distinguished it from what she referred to as "the zone." I can see how these two things could be easily confused. Finding your "zone" during a workout is an awesome feeling--the endorphins kick in, it might show up as a "second wind" of sorts, and you find yourself in a smooth, natural rhythm that begins to carry you through whatever workout activity you are engaged in. For at least a time it feels like you could fly. It's not a given that you'll find your zone in every workout, but it's part of the reason working out can indeed become addictive!

The "spark" for me, is something different than finding your "zone." While both can be powerful motivators, the type of motivation is different. The zone necessarily occurs within the context of the actual workout itself. The spark, for me, is an energy that can exist outside the workout but that I recognize is experienced, reinforced and strengthened through actively working out (when I am doing so with intention). That energy, then, carries through beyond the workout. Indeed, that's the whole point of the spark: it is something I decisively want more of for myself, and as a result it becomes a source of motivation for doing whatever it is I need to do in order to make that happen.

To help illustrate more clearly, I will share more about the essence of what my spark is. (Or, at least one of them--I think it's possible to have multiple sparks...) Words that I might use to describe my spark, as I understand it, are power or strength--it's an energy that resides at the very core of my sense of self-empowerment. By nature I am predominantly a kind, quiet, gentle soul. Although I embrace this part of myself I also crave feeling strong and powerful--I need to have a balance of both in my life to feel like I am living a full version of myself. In my younger years I was an athlete--this is where I found particular fulfillment in being able to engage the more outgoing, aggressive, and powerful side of my nature in a more intentional way. Playing basketball, in particular, was a passion of mine. This team sport allowed me the opportunity to let out my aggression in a structured, acceptable way--I could pour my whole self out on the court in a manner that was completely raw, and this was freeing for me. A good part of my decision to lose weight was inspired by my desire to reconnect with this more powerful side of my nature, and to use it as an impetus for enhancing my overall sense of self-confidence as I moved forward towards creating the kind of future I wanted for myself. I knew that committing myself to returning to the gym would help flame this spark in me in a more dramatic and profound way than any other course of action; and the results would be cyclical, further reinforcing my desire and commitment to working out and changing my lifestyle.

The fruitfulness of, and my ability to enjoy, my workouts seems to run directly parallel with my intentionality in observing how closely the metaphor of fitness correlates with the rest of my life. It's when I lose sight of this and working out becomes simply "working out" that it becomes much more of a chore...it gets reduced to a burden. But, when I am working out with focus and intention, and being attentive to what I can carry from my experience in the gym out into my everyday life experience of what it means to simply be me...then I am reaping many more rewards than simply losing weight. I am stronger, more engaged, and ready to be pushed to my limits and beyond. I am ready to live life to its very fullest--not be content to just sit back and observe life from the comfort of my couch. Seriously: I don't even OWN a couch anymore!!

So, what is your spark? When you search deep down inside, what is it that you truly want more of for yourself? What is standing in your way from getting this? If you're anything like me, you are likely the one standing in your own way. That's both the bad news and the good news. For me it was bad news because I recognized the shame in knowing that I had no one else to blame but myself for not being where I wanted to be in life; but, on the flipside, the good news is that I completely hold all the power to change--IF I am willing to take control and hold onto that power. When you really look at it, what better scenario could there be? My dreams are all right there within my reach--they are just waiting for me to go after them and finally live them!

Finding Your Spark

Things have shifted for me since my last post. The most distinct change is that I have regained that internal "spark" that was momentarily lying dormant. Perhaps this is a sign that I am starting to catch up to myself again after this latest transitional period.

As I think back to my last post, I recognize its significance in providing me an opportunity to "name the problem." I knew something wasn't right, that my forward progression in my journey was being restrained by something, and I had a sense that it was somehow linked to finding my motivation. Just naming what the problem is, even when we have no clue what the solution could be, is a huge step towards overcoming any of life's obstacles. What it also provided for me, however, was an opportunity for me to return to a space built around living with intention. Previous to my last post I was going through the motions of trying to stick things out and stay on track, knowing it was all important, but I wasn't doing so passionately or with any real focus the way I had been in months prior. My mind was too distracted with other things clamoring for my attention, so I lost a little bit of ground in my goal of trying to be more present in every moment and living with more intentionality and focus. Essentially, taking the time to write out my reflections in my last post was a first step towards returning to that place of living with intention as, in naming the problem, I was calling upon myself to "pay attention" in a more meaningful way and to be a better listener--to get back to the basics of what this journey is all about. The very moment I do that willingly and purposefully, all the obstacles clear and I am free to continue on my merry way again!

This is not the first time I have bumped up against obstacles on my journey, nor will it by any means be the last. They are a given. Life is not easy; and, I don't believe it's meant to be. A life without challenges means a life without growth. A few months ago when I was facing a personal issue head-on, I suddenly recognized that it was not actually a "problem" but an "opportunity." Being charged to tackle this issue at the time provided me with the opportunity to prove to myself with no uncertainty what I was capable of, in a way that simply would not be possible had I not had such an occasion to wrestle with such challenges. Ironically, I then perceived this momentary challenge as an amazing opportunity to experience grace in a concrete and phenomenal way. It's all a matter of perspective!

As I look ahead to what comes next for me, I think it will include spending time reflecting more on this certain "spark" that lies within my soul. When it returned this week, I quickly recognized that this is the very same spark that was the total source of my inspiration for beginning this journey in the first place. I knew, back then, that this spark is the very source of life for me--AND it was the reason I knew that I wanted my life BACK. I also knew that the gym was going to be the most direct way for me to enhance, strengthen and cultivate this spark. My instincts were true; but, when I lose focus on the connection between the two, it's easy to slide off track for a bit.

What is your spark? Do you know what it is, or is it yet to be discovered? What are the things that fuel your spark? What threatens it? How can you utilize your spark to drive your success in moving closer to your life goals--fitness or otherwise? I will be thinking on some of these questions and invite you to do the same.

Refuse to Let Life Get in the Way

So, it's been a few months since my last post. My life got busy with job hunting and other life transitions. I am still trying to regain a sense of rhythm to my life after starting a new job at the end of September. I'm getting there, but it's taking me some time.

Transitional periods, or change in general, can often wreak havoc on our progress towards meeting health and fitness goals. It's easier, during these periods, to fall back into old routines. Rising stress levels trigger cravings for certain comfort foods. Or, we start to rely more heavily on "convenience" foods as we adjust to changes in our schedule. I recognize, for myself, that I tend to become more "near-sighted" during such transitional periods--and my way of catching myself from falling into making less-than-healthy choices during this time is to intentionally make the time to plan ahead. I don't know that anyone has ever "planned" to fall off the wagon; rather, falling off the wagon is more likely to happen when we don't already have other alternative plan in place.

Working out has also been more of a challenge for me lately. My new job is demanding and requires an extreme amount of energy from me each day. My old self would think I need to go home and "rest" after such a challenging day; my new self recognizes that working out is EXACTLY what I need in order to burn off the stress hormones and return to a better state of equilibrium before starting another day. I'm finding the workouts more difficult during this time; yet, at the end of the workout, it is crystal clear to me that this was exactly what I needed. It's a reminder that although it does require work, the results will always follow. The best things in life don't come to us for free!

Something I've been reflecting on during my last few workouts is that my energy and drive seem to be lacking. I'm still putting in the work, but there is a certain spark missing. Two things come up for me as I reflect on this fact. One, I've recognized the need to spend some time considering what my current source of motivation is. To workout with focus, I need to know what I'm focusing on. Has my focus somehow changed in recent months, or have I just momentarily lost a connection with my original focus? These are things I will need to think about. Secondly, it brings up how ESSENTIAL it is that, in order to be successful in working towards our health and fitness goals, we be the authors of our own motivation. It all has to come from within; otherwise, in times like these, everything breaks down if we don't "own" the very source of what drives us. Certainly we can be inspired by others, but we have to personalize our goals and make them our own. I didn't lose weight by following a set of external rules for a given diet or an exercise prescription; rather, I transformed my life by incorporating a whole new perspective on what it means for me to be a healthy human being and then I created a personalized road map for how to reach certain goals. If I hadn't personalized this journey and made it my own, I would have given up long ago.

It's Not a Cakewalk

Change is not easy. It requires effort, determination, perseverance, vision. There will be growing pains. In reality we should know this. Unfortunately, the society we live in--a society that stresses consumerism and consumption--markets "the good life" in a way that makes it look like all the "good things" are easy to obtain. Spend the right amount of money on the right kind of thing and "abracadabra:" instant happiness. When we are in touch with our true selves, however, we know better than to buy into this mentality. We know the promises are empty ones. The real path that leads to our dreams--whatever they may be--requires hard work and dedication. I promise the hard work is well worth it--not just in the end, but all throughout the journey.

Sometimes others make it look easy, but it's not a cakewalk. Sure, I've lost over 80 pounds, but it happened one pound at a time just like it does for everyone else. I am no different than anyone else. I still work hard, pushing myself to my limits and beyond. I do this because I find this task important, in and of itself. I want to grow and be stronger and challenge myself. The journey has never been just about losing weight for me. It has been about living my life. And somehow I am finding the gym to be one of the greatest teachers I've ever had on the topic of what it means to live life. And so with each workout I go to sit at the fountain of wisdom and learn what I can about myself and about what it means to be Kristy-in-this-world.

In my current setting-in-life, there are things I struggle with that are somewhat outside of my control. Continuing to work on improving my fitness and overall health is one area of my life in which I can still maintain complete control. And honestly, it also reinforces my ability to deal with and withstand the pressure of the other more stressful parts of my life. Still, there are days I struggle even with working out. Yesterday, for instance: after a rough day, I wanted to go home and simply crumple into a heap of tears. Instead, I honored my commitment and showed up to my workout. I'm not sure I was convinced that I'd make it through the whole workout, but I showed up anyway, to give it whatever I had in me. I pushed myself, worked out hard, and I can't even begin to tell you how amazing I felt when the workout was over. The gym gives me an outlet for working out my frustrations. I find something absolutely cathartic in the process of having sweat dripping from every pore in my body. Afterward I can literally feel myself from the inside out...as I recognize that the stress toxins have been expelled from my body and there is a renewed sense of calm and peace flowing through my bloodstream. Take my word for it: this whole journey is not a cakewalk, but it is definitely much better than eating cake! The rewards are deep and long-lasting and life-giving.

I do still enjoy a little bit of cake every now and then, but in the overall spectrum of my life I have grown to recognize that a lot of things exist out there that are much more important to me than cake. You can have your cake, and eat it, too...but is that what you really want? What is it that you REALLY want?