After my last post, I had the opportunity to discuss the "spark" concept more thoroughly with a friend. I distinguished it from what she referred to as "the zone." I can see how these two things could be easily confused. Finding your "zone" during a workout is an awesome feeling--the endorphins kick in, it might show up as a "second wind" of sorts, and you find yourself in a smooth, natural rhythm that begins to carry you through whatever workout activity you are engaged in. For at least a time it feels like you could fly. It's not a given that you'll find your zone in every workout, but it's part of the reason working out can indeed become addictive!
The "spark" for me, is something different than finding your "zone." While both can be powerful motivators, the type of motivation is different. The zone necessarily occurs within the context of the actual workout itself. The spark, for me, is an energy that can exist outside the workout but that I recognize is experienced, reinforced and strengthened through actively working out (when I am doing so with intention). That energy, then, carries through beyond the workout. Indeed, that's the whole point of the spark: it is something I decisively want more of for myself, and as a result it becomes a source of motivation for doing whatever it is I need to do in order to make that happen.
To help illustrate more clearly, I will share more about the essence of what my spark is. (Or, at least one of them--I think it's possible to have multiple sparks...) Words that I might use to describe my spark, as I understand it, are power or strength--it's an energy that resides at the very core of my sense of self-empowerment. By nature I am predominantly a kind, quiet, gentle soul. Although I embrace this part of myself I also crave feeling strong and powerful--I need to have a balance of both in my life to feel like I am living a full version of myself. In my younger years I was an athlete--this is where I found particular fulfillment in being able to engage the more outgoing, aggressive, and powerful side of my nature in a more intentional way. Playing basketball, in particular, was a passion of mine. This team sport allowed me the opportunity to let out my aggression in a structured, acceptable way--I could pour my whole self out on the court in a manner that was completely raw, and this was freeing for me. A good part of my decision to lose weight was inspired by my desire to reconnect with this more powerful side of my nature, and to use it as an impetus for enhancing my overall sense of self-confidence as I moved forward towards creating the kind of future I wanted for myself. I knew that committing myself to returning to the gym would help flame this spark in me in a more dramatic and profound way than any other course of action; and the results would be cyclical, further reinforcing my desire and commitment to working out and changing my lifestyle.
The fruitfulness of, and my ability to enjoy, my workouts seems to run directly parallel with my intentionality in observing how closely the metaphor of fitness correlates with the rest of my life. It's when I lose sight of this and working out becomes simply "working out" that it becomes much more of a chore...it gets reduced to a burden. But, when I am working out with focus and intention, and being attentive to what I can carry from my experience in the gym out into my everyday life experience of what it means to simply be me...then I am reaping many more rewards than simply losing weight. I am stronger, more engaged, and ready to be pushed to my limits and beyond. I am ready to live life to its very fullest--not be content to just sit back and observe life from the comfort of my couch. Seriously: I don't even OWN a couch anymore!!
So, what is your spark? When you search deep down inside, what is it that you truly want more of for yourself? What is standing in your way from getting this? If you're anything like me, you are likely the one standing in your own way. That's both the bad news and the good news. For me it was bad news because I recognized the shame in knowing that I had no one else to blame but myself for not being where I wanted to be in life; but, on the flipside, the good news is that I completely hold all the power to change--IF I am willing to take control and hold onto that power. When you really look at it, what better scenario could there be? My dreams are all right there within my reach--they are just waiting for me to go after them and finally live them!
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