Things have shifted for me since my last post. The most distinct change is that I have regained that internal "spark" that was momentarily lying dormant. Perhaps this is a sign that I am starting to catch up to myself again after this latest transitional period.
As I think back to my last post, I recognize its significance in providing me an opportunity to "name the problem." I knew something wasn't right, that my forward progression in my journey was being restrained by something, and I had a sense that it was somehow linked to finding my motivation. Just naming what the problem is, even when we have no clue what the solution could be, is a huge step towards overcoming any of life's obstacles. What it also provided for me, however, was an opportunity for me to return to a space built around living with intention. Previous to my last post I was going through the motions of trying to stick things out and stay on track, knowing it was all important, but I wasn't doing so passionately or with any real focus the way I had been in months prior. My mind was too distracted with other things clamoring for my attention, so I lost a little bit of ground in my goal of trying to be more present in every moment and living with more intentionality and focus. Essentially, taking the time to write out my reflections in my last post was a first step towards returning to that place of living with intention as, in naming the problem, I was calling upon myself to "pay attention" in a more meaningful way and to be a better listener--to get back to the basics of what this journey is all about. The very moment I do that willingly and purposefully, all the obstacles clear and I am free to continue on my merry way again!
This is not the first time I have bumped up against obstacles on my journey, nor will it by any means be the last. They are a given. Life is not easy; and, I don't believe it's meant to be. A life without challenges means a life without growth. A few months ago when I was facing a personal issue head-on, I suddenly recognized that it was not actually a "problem" but an "opportunity." Being charged to tackle this issue at the time provided me with the opportunity to prove to myself with no uncertainty what I was capable of, in a way that simply would not be possible had I not had such an occasion to wrestle with such challenges. Ironically, I then perceived this momentary challenge as an amazing opportunity to experience grace in a concrete and phenomenal way. It's all a matter of perspective!
As I look ahead to what comes next for me, I think it will include spending time reflecting more on this certain "spark" that lies within my soul. When it returned this week, I quickly recognized that this is the very same spark that was the total source of my inspiration for beginning this journey in the first place. I knew, back then, that this spark is the very source of life for me--AND it was the reason I knew that I wanted my life BACK. I also knew that the gym was going to be the most direct way for me to enhance, strengthen and cultivate this spark. My instincts were true; but, when I lose focus on the connection between the two, it's easy to slide off track for a bit.
What is your spark? Do you know what it is, or is it yet to be discovered? What are the things that fuel your spark? What threatens it? How can you utilize your spark to drive your success in moving closer to your life goals--fitness or otherwise? I will be thinking on some of these questions and invite you to do the same.
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